She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
