idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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