How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize