dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
