I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The maid of honor just puked.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
