I'm so fucking centered right now
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
