It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
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