I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
