North Korea, Best Korea!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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