Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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