when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
