She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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