And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
