we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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