I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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