K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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