If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
