At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
