i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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