my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
