He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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