She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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