please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
