I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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