Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
