but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
