Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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