dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
