Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
How does one acquire holy water?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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