...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize