I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
