I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize