she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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