Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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