how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
