i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
