The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
