One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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