I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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