thus making me awesome and them whores
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
