I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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