a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Can i not drive my cunt home
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
