I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
