i think my tv is drunk
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
