she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
