none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
