there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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