i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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