So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
