Screwed.edu
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize