It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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