you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
