whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
