dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
