Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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