his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
