in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
