so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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