I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
