The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
