I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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