Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
